Falling From Grace

By Kurai-chyan

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Title: Falling From Grace
Author: Kurai-chyan
Type: Oneshot
Rating: PG
Pairings: N/A
Dedication: To all Jade fans!
Spoilers: Jade's background.
Summary: A short story about Jade's fall from Heaven.

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Like a drop of rain I fall.
To think,
To know,
That you are gone forever.
I fall for knowing.
I fall for caring.
I fall for finding out that you have left us.

They say I am a sinner,
They say I am blasphemes.
But is it wrong to voice the truth?
Is it wrong to know the truth?
Is it wrong to learn the truth?
Is it wrong to try and make things right?

Jade woke the same as he had done every other day, the same boring ritual. Get up, get ready, and then attend to his work. Sure, when he got a chance he would tease and see how far he could push his associates, but that in the end was not to interesting. But this day, this day seamed different. There was an odd quiet to the air and the feeling of something being kept away.

He watched the higher angels whisper among themselves urgently. Keeping hushed voices and doors closed. Something big had happened and he could not keep his curiosity down. Abandoning his duties for the day, he ventured over to the meeting hall where the high council would meet and decide how to possess the orders of God.

First he tried to open the door, but they had locked it. He could not find any other way to get in so he pressed his ear to the wood. He could barely make out the muttered voices. Whatever they were discussing was urgent and simply piqued his interest more. Suddenly the door opened, knocking him over.

"Jade what are you doing?" a voice said sternly from above him.

"Oh, I thought it would be nice to sit here," he said, raising his arms on either side of him in a slight shrug as if he had every intention of sitting on the floor. "It has a nice view, lots of sun. People milling around and--" He was cut off.

"And a good place to try and overhear what the council was discussing?" the other angel asked.

"Oh? Was the council discussing something? I was not aware. Why would I even care, it's none of my business after all..." he said, slowly turning his head, but still watching the other.

"No, it was not your business, but it is just like you to try and easedrop. Go back to your duties and let council matters rest with us. Would you like one of us interfering with your work?" the higher angel asked in a reprimanding tone.

"Oh, no, no, no. You would probably do something stupid and then I would have twice as much work."

"Jade!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going," Jade said, waving an arm and then taking his leave. The council members annoyed him greatly. They thought themselves so high up because they got to talk to God and do his bidding directly. "They're all egotistical fools," he muttered to himself.

But now his curiosity was not going to be ignored. Something big happened, and Jade was not going to stop until he figured it out. But where to start? He would have to go to the hall when they were done. Maybe there would be clues. That would be the only place he could start, and then later he would keep an eye on the other members.

"Hmm, looks like things are going to be fun for a little bit," he said cheerfully to himself. He wasn't about to let anyone keep a secret from him.

He went back to his duties. Though everyone made out as if his job were rather easy, it wasn't. It was boring as hell, tedious, and many other unpleasant things, but easy it was far from. He was in charge of keeping all the records in order. Filing and cross referencing. The only fun he got out of his job was when people would come to him needing help on information of some sort or another. Then he could terrorize them the entire time they had to deal with him.

The next morning Jade woke up the same as he had every other day. He looked out the window as he got ready and could not help but think maybe the sky was not as bright. There was a feeling of great loss, but what it was he could not say.

He sent a note in saying he would not be coming to work that day. Jade was only upset that he could not see the faces of his assistants when they read it. He knew it would have been priceless to see there panic-stricken faces, even if it was only a day.

First he went to the hall, where the doors, being that there were no meetings that day, were unlocked. After a time of looking around he found no clues. This annoyed him. But it did not discourage him. He simply started to walk amongst the people, trying to keep his ear out for any whisper of gossip or small tidbit of what may be going on. Someone had to know and they would not keep it completely to themselves. It was nature to let out at least a small bit of something you're hiding, after all.

While passing people on the street, he overheard a conversation.

"Does the sky look paler today?"

"Not sure, it definitely seems less bright."

"Odd, don't you think? Maybe a storm?"

"Have you ever heard of a storm in Heaven?"

"No... maybe it's just me..."

"Probably is."

Jade had to stop and pause. So the sky was probably different. He had noticed something odd earlier. He looked up to the sky at that point, watching it for a while. He could not figure out any leads, so decided to go home. He would resume his quest tomorrow, leaving his assistants on their own again. Which he was not sure if they would hate or like.

Jade spent the next few weeks searching his mysteries to no avail. He got bits and peaces but could not come to any decent hypothesis as to what the high angels were hiding. All he knew was as the days passed, they got more uncomfortable and edgy. Since that one day, he noticed the sky had not changed. More and more were starting to see it, but no one thought anything strange.

"Something is wrong... it is seriously wrong..." he said softly to himself.

One day when Jade woke up there was a note under his door. Where it was from, or who could have sent it was a mystery to him. The note had the address to God's chambers on it, which he found odd. If God had wanted him, he would have had a more direct way of contacting him. Many things were slowly beginning to point in a particular direction, and he was not fond of the answer he was getting.

When Jade got there he found the doors closed and heavily guarded. Which was odd, for God welcomed all his children who may need him. Jade walked up the steps slowly and waved a hand up to the guards.

"Hello gentlemen," he said with a cheerful smile. "Hard at work? Don't work to hard now, you know what they say, all work and no play." He waved to them as he walked by jauntily, ready to open the doors and proceed, when one of the guards blocked his way.

"Where do you think you are going?" the guard asked in a suspicious tone.

"To see God, what does it look like?" Jade answered with a raised eyebrow.

"You may not. Leave here now." The other guard this time spoke up.

"Oh? I did not know God played favorites. I should have just as much right as anyone else to see him," he said in a rather innocent tone.

"We are under orders to not let anyone in. That is all we know." The first guard spoke up again.

"Well, why don't we ask God if I can come in or not? I'm sure it won't take more then a minute," he said with a grin, and proceeded to the doors, again ready to open them. But at that moment the guards grabbed him and threw him a bit of a ways from the doors. "Ah! Ite~ so rough, that was unnecessary..."

"We are very sorry, but orders are orders," the second guard said. "Now go before we call someone to remove you physically."

Okay, okay. I understand," he said, getting up rubbing his side.

Jade walked around for a while with a sad expression. He was afraid. He was not used to this feeling. Oh sure, sometimes he worried what people might do back to him. Or what punishment he might get for some of his actions. But this time was different. He truthfully did not know how things for him would be like from this point out. He had a dark suspicion and is truly terrified him.

The next day he went straight to the highest angel, a bit frantic. At first they would not let him in, but after a while he got an audience.

"What is it Jade?" the angel said, a bit annoyed.

"Don't worry, this won't take long. I just want you to answer a question I have..." he said slowly. None of his usual sharpness was there.

"What's the question? I have better things to do then answer silly things for people."

"Is... Is God dead?" Jade asked finally after a moment of silence. "I mean... he must be, right? Things are wrong... They are different. It all points to this... Not anywhere, not anywhen can I find conditions or happenings like this... It would have to be the answer... Right?" he said slowly. He couldn't believe he had just asked that. Since he had figured it out, it didn't seem real until he voiced his thoughts.

The high angel's face turned suddenly cold and urgent. He made a motion with his head and two other angels came in. "Jade, what Blasphemy to say such a thing about our Lord! To even think such a thing is one of the worst crimes," he said sternly. "For this, you will be publicly thrown to the Abyss."

Jade's face paled. "But, but... It's true! It's true! I know it's true! You can't!" he cried out as the two other angels dragged him away.

The angel sighed a bit and sat down at his desk. "Tomorrow, tomorrow you will serve as an example Jade. To anyone else who may suspect... No one can know... No one must know the truth... If you had only stuck to your own business," he said slowly to himself.

The next day Jade was sent down in a public display. It was known to all that he had questioned the life of God. For anyone who had had doubts, they were quickly pushed away. No one wanted to go to the Abyss. It was a horrible and dangerous place.

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